A Daughter's Tribute

Tribute to Papa

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” - Romans 8:37-39

I can only speak of my father from my perspective but I hope we all share the same sentiment about him. He may have touched your life with his own through how he lived and you too may have touched his life with yours. I hear stories about how it isn't easy to raise children and it is much more challenging to raise girls. As a daughter, he was first a father to me. Ever since I can remember, he always played the role of an extra diligent father. When we were younger, he would tuck us in at night when he was home before we went to bed, if he weren't yet, I remember moments between sleep and wakefulness that he would open the door to our room and stay for a moment, making sure that his daughters were complete. His job before required him to be away most of the time but my mother and him made sure that we never felt he was not there. Whenever he was home, he'd make it a point to spend time with us-- talking with us about valuable life lessons. That was how he brought us up. Amazingly, he never needed to resort to using the rod to discipline us. Through this, my sisters and I grew up being emotionally and spiritually strong. This proved to be really helpful as we were growing up-- it provided a source of moral compass for us. He never dictated what we can and cannot do, instead, he trusted us to make decisions for ourselves and he always stood by us whether or not we made a good decision. I would often hear his friends ask him how he raised us because it is evident that he raised us well in this generation where society is more liberated and media has so much influence on the lifestyle of the impressionable youth. I believe that in his passing on to life after this, he was at peace because he has seen us grow up, have careers, and lead our lives independently. Although it is a bit sad to note that he was never able to walk his daughters down the aisle. He was also always very supportive even during times when I thought I failed to meet his expectations. I can remember a time when I wasn't able to graduate on the expected date, I cried for two weeks, thinking that he would be terribly disappointed with me. When I finally gathered the courage to tell him, he didn't even respond in disappointment. And a month later, I overheard him talking to one of my cousins, saying that he was proud of me because I was successful. My father was a man of few words, he did not generously dole out encouragement or praise but through this, I knew and felt in my heart that whenever he would praise something we did, he truly meant it.

Second, I saw him as a husband to my mother. In their 32 years of marriage I have witnessed their ups and downs from when I was a little girl until his last days. He also rarely expressed it verbally but I know, he loved my mother the best way he knew how. Sometimes, it may seem that he didn't care because he seldom expressed it in words, but his actions showed that he cared. Life wasn't always easy and we never really had much but I learned from my parents that having each other was the best blessing and that all we ever really needed were each other. 

Third, I saw him as a brother and friend to the family where God has placed him in. He had his own ideals and principles in life that he stubbornly stood up for and which sometimes made it difficult for some to get along with him but he was always just being true to himself. With papa, there were no gray areas, it was always black and white. The take it or leave it kind of approach; but I guess that's how it is when you're being honest which is what he was. Papa did not have a lot of friends but he was loyal to the friends he had-- I learned from him that it isn't the number of friends you have that matter, rather it's the quality of the friends you have that does. 

Lastly, I'd like to speak about him as a man of faith. He was the one who taught me about God and reading the Bible and he showed me what steadfast faith was like-- what you do when you truly believe in something or someone. While it is true that he became a Buddhist more than a decade ago, he was the man who taught me a lot about faith. He always taught us about how to respect other people's beliefs and not judge them for what they believe in. He constantly reminded me that I am free to choose where to put my faith in and my role in that chosen faith is to share about it to others and if ever they mocked me or did not believe me, then that's ok. Through this, despite my initial feelings of being betrayed by my father when it comes to his chosen faith, I learned to respect him even more.

My dear family, our relatives and friends who are gathered today, we never really get over our grief when faced with a loss, we only learn to manage it. And by God's grace, we will manage it well. Perhaps it will help us to think that he is in a place which is indescribably and infinitely better than we can all imagine. Thank you everyone for the support you have shown my mother, my siblings and myself at a time such as this.  To all of our relatives who came to share our grief and those who couldn't be with us but whose thoughts, love and prayers are truly felt, no words would be enough to express our family's gratitude for the support you have shown and the help you have extended. You are truly appreciated.

Good afternoon, may God bless us all.