Holding Back

Reading through the passages in the Bible about Joseph’s life is like reading about a family I might know or even my own family. The usual sibling rivalry – the squabbles, jealousy, favoritism – is present and it didn’t just happen during Joseph’s time, it happens even today. Joseph and his eleven brothers did not get along so well because aside from being such a large brood, most of them connived to do something evil to him. They seemed to have ganged up against him because he was their father’s favorite son. If you were the apple of your parent’s eye, you’d probably feel proud and look down upon your other siblings; or you can be the one who gets away with every mischief and wrongdoing simply because you were the favorite. But this was not the case with Joseph. He is depicted as an almost perfect son – he was obedient, hardworking, God-fearing, and respectful. He loved his family – every single one of them.

                As I read through what Joseph experienced at the hands of his brothers, I really couldn’t imagine how a brother or sister can do that to his or her sibling. To sell a brother into slavery? To be rid of your sibling and break the heart of your father by telling him his favorite son was dead? It’s just beyond “cruel”. But his brothers did it. For us who are reading his story, we might think that it’s unfair for all those to happen to Joseph because he was faithful to God. Not only did he suffer from what his brothers did, even when he was working hard and earning his wages honestly, the Pharaoh’s wife got him in trouble. He was thrown into prison yet he still made something good out of the situation by using his God-given talents to help his fellow prisoners by interpreting their dreams. Even those whom he helped forgot about him. At this point in his life, it would seem that all was lost for him. But we see that Joseph steadfastly held on to his faith in God, he never gave up, he kept hoping that one day, all will be made right. And indeed, his faith was rewarded.

In the context of dealing with our family members we have different standards than the ones we set for dealing with our friends. When we deal with our friends, it is much easier for us to reconcile with them or sometimes, we don’t even bother to reconcile and just move on. When it comes to our family, it is much harder to ignore them – they’re family. When I was younger, reconciling with my siblings after a fight was so much easier, but as I grew older, I realized that it becomes more difficult to reconcile with them because we have somehow developed a sense of dignity and regard for self that our pride gets in the way. As little girls, when my sisters and I had fights, we made up in less than 10 minutes – sisters can’t stand not talking with each other for a long time because there’s just so much important stuff to tell the others. As we grew older, it took longer and longer for us to reconcile; maybe because we had more things to attend to– school requirements, time spent with friends, parties to attend, dates with a boyfriend – so, we can put the reconciliation moment on hold for as long as we liked. At least, it was like this for my sisters and I. In Joseph’s case, he waited for years, before he got a chance at reconciling with his brothers. In all those years, if I were Joseph, I would have thought of a million different ways to get back at those who did me wrong – especially now that he was a high ranking official in Egypt. He could do as he pleased. But we read that Joseph never held a grudge against his family. In fact, he was looking forward to their reunion and favored them in what they were seeking – food and provisions as there was a famine in the land. He gave them food and returned the silver coins that were supposed to be their payment. This is a great example of showing grace – bestowing upon his brothers a gift they did not deserve. After everything that Joseph went through, I am sure that it would have been easy for him to just be bitter and use his position to take revenge, but no, he chose to show love to a family that betrayed him. It is an amazing story of grace, forgiveness, and reconciliation even in the midst of all the circumstances that brought Joseph to where he was. His unwavering faith in God, his belief that God was at work and everything will turn out for the best because all that was happening  was part of God’s plan, made it possible for him to respond the way he did. Sometimes, when others have wronged me, I tend to react and not respond. As the saying goes “hurting people hurt other people”. There are times when I don’t think through my actions and words, I just react, and make an even bigger damage in the relationship. I realized that while it is very hard to respond in the way God wants me to, it is possible through God’s help. I cannot do it on my own, my impulse will always be to take revenge, tit for tat, but I learned also that holding back honors God. I am inspired by how Joseph treated his brothers after all that they had done to him – I pray I can be like him, especially towards my siblings.